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"We, learn to walk by falling, to talk by babbling, to shoot a basket by missing, and to color the inside of a square by scribbling outside the box."
For the last decade, Tal Ben-Shahar has
been "teaching happiness" in his Popular Harvard University course and in seminars across the world. What he discovered after
speaking to thousands of stressed-out students, parents, and professionals is that most of us aspire to a life that is not just
happier but perfect -- which explains why so many of us are unhappy.
In The Pursuit Of Perfect, Ben-Shahar offers a more
realistic alternative. Applying cutting-edge principles of positive
psychology, he identifies two ways of living whose distinct patterns
of behavior provide an important key to our understanding of success
and self-fulfillment. They are the Perfectionist and the Optimalist,
and there's a little bit of both in all of us . . .
The
Perfectionist views life's journey as a straight line. The
Optitmalist sees it as an irregular spiral.
The Perfectionist
is afraid of failure. The Optimialist uses failure as feedback.
The
Perfectionist is rigid, critical, and defensive. The Optimalist is
adaptable, forgiving, and open to suggestion.
The
Perfectionist focuses on the "destination," setting goals
that are overly ambitious or unobtainable. The Optimalist focuses on
the joumey and the destination.
According to
Ben-Shahar, we can learn a lot from these types. By rejecting the
all-or-nothing thinking of the Perfectionist and embracing the more
nuanced, complex mind-set of the Optimalist, we can learn to accept
our failures along with our successes -- and lead much happier lives.
Do You Want Your Life To Be Perfect?
We're all
laboring under society's expectation to be perfect in every way -- to
look younger, to make more money, to be happy all the time. But
according to Tal Ben-Shahar, the New York Times bestselling
author of Happier, the pursuit of "perfect" may
actually be the number-one obstacle to finding happiness.
Or
Do You Want Your Life To Be Happier?
Using groundbreaking
research in the field of positive psychology -- the scientific
principles taught in his widly popular course at Harvard University
-- Ben-Shahar takes us off the impossible pursuit of perfection and
directs us to the way to happiness, richness, and true fulfillment.
He shows us an optimal way of thinking about failure and success.
He
provides self-reflective exercises, meditations, and "Time-Ins"
to help you rediscover what you really want out of life. And he makes
a convincing case that you don't have to be perfect to be perfectly
happy.
pub date: 2009-04-03 | hardcover | 9780071608824 |
