Excerpt
from I Hate People: Kick Loose from the Overbearing and Underhanded Jerks at Work and Get What You Want Out of Your Job
by Jonathan Littman and Marc Hershon
Signs of Hate: The Non Response
Many
corporate people are interrupted so often on so many
different levels that they've adopted the Non-Response as
a universal defense mechanism. It comes in many flavors. The first is
silence. They don't respond to your e-mail or
phone messages. Zilch. It's not overtly hostile, but there's nothing
you can do with it.
We're
in the midst of a global meltdown. E-mail and voice-mail
overload have ruined our manners. We're so inundated
that even when we ask people to send us stuff -- reports,
files, proofs -- we don't even take the time to type or
call back "Thanks" or "Got it." This is like not saying "Thank
you" for a gift. It's one of the most visible signs of civilization's
decline. And manners are quickly being forgotten,
along with holding the door for old ladies, not taking up two parking
spaces, and saying "Gesundheit" after someone
sneezes. Remember a little something called business etiquette?
The
Non-Response is the most common way someone in
a company may blunt your progress. He may be a Stop Sign
or a Sheeple or just too busy or rude to bother. But by his
not returning your e-mail or messages, your progress is effectively
stopped. He can later claim grade-school-style excuses: "Our server's
been down!" "I didn't get your message!" "I was caught in a bear trap!"
Signs
that you're getting a Non-Response:
The
Pseudo-Response
Most
often a terse one-line e-mail: "Got it!"
The
Deflected Non-Response
Though they appear to answer your e-mail, they deftly avoid answering your question. You're unlikely to squeeze anything more out of them until they need something from you.
The
Assisted Non-Response
The front man calls you back -- and tells you nothing. It's the trusty cover for the slippery Non-Responder. When pressed, the boss will typically feign ignorance of your call and blame his assistant.
The
Courtesy Non-Response
Wrapped in champagne, fruit baskets, or candy, along with a handwritten note promising great things. Popular in massive corporations and Hollywood. What's missing? Any real communication channel. When you call, they're not in, and the assistant takes your messages and e-mails, leaving you stuck with the flat bubbly and rotten fruit.
The
Smoothy Non-Response
You don't even know you've been non-responded to. He's so slick that it feels as though he's on your side, advocating your causes, and yet it isn't until you've hung up the phone or let the e-mail sink in that you realize nothing has happened.
The
WTF Non-Response
You're made to feel as though you're intruding, when all you want is a straight answer for something they said they'd be happy to provide. You call for the budget numbers they promised you last week, but when they finally answer, you get a belligerent, "I told you I'd get those numbers to you when they're ready!"
The above is an excerpt from the book I Hate People!: Kick Loose from the Overbearing and Underhanded Jerks at Work and Get What You Want Out of Your Job by Jonathan Littman & Marc Hershon. The above excerpt is a digitally scanned reproduction of text from print. Although this excerpt has been proofread, occasional errors may appear due to the scanning process. Please refer to the finished book for accuracy.
This excerpt is used with the permission of Hachette Book Group, Marc Hershon and Jonathan Littman. All rights reserved.