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I Hate You, Kelly Donahue: DO NOT OPEN! Nothing to See Here, Just Boring Stuff or Empty Pages

by Mark Svartz

Published by Adams Media

Buy I Hate You, Kelly Donahue: DO NOT OPEN! Nothing to See Here, Just Boring Stuff or Empty Pages at AmazonBuy I Hate You, Kelly Donahue: DO NOT OPEN! Nothing to See Here, Just Boring Stuff or Empty Pages at Barnes & NobleBuy I Hate You, Kelly Donahue: DO NOT OPEN! Nothing to See Here, Just Boring Stuff or Empty Pages at Indie Bound

Buy I Hate You, Kelly Donahue: DO NOT OPEN! Nothing to See Here, Just Boring Stuff or Empty Pages for Amazon Kindle


As a little kid, a boy would pinch the girl he liked. As grown-up, Mark Svartz plans her ultimate demise through a number of twisted murder plots that involve lead pipes, escape routes, and David Hasselhoff. Some guys never grow up.

This book chronicles the eight months, sixteen days, and some-odd hours since Mark first laid eyes on the despicable, wretched wench he's destined to fight to the death. Every note, thought, IM, email, Post-It, and craigslist ad looking for a crime-scene clean-up is meticulously catalogued in Mark's journal.

Is it a diary of a mad man? Or a man madly in love? Who cares? It's seriously messed up. And seriously funny.


pub date: 2012-01-15 | paperback | 9781440527548