FSB Author Article
Excerpt
The following is an excerpt from the book When It's Cancer
by Toni Bernay,
Ph.D., and Saar Porrath, M.D.
Published
by Rodale; March
2006;$15.95US/$22.95CAN; 1-57954-823-7
Copyright © 2006 Toni Bernay, Ph.D.
Opening up to your colleagues about your cancer diagnosis is a more
sensitive matter. You may worry that you're no longer a contributing
member of the workforce, that you are seen as damaged goods. You may
fear, perhaps rightly so, that your news will become a topic of gossip
rather than a conduit for strengthening workplace bonds.
Some people will resent being called upon to pick up some of your
workload. Others may start vying for your position well before you are
ready to quit. Clients, worried that you won't be able to follow
through on commitments, may talk about taking their business elsewhere.
If you're in a management or executive position, you may worry that the
delicate chain of command you've established to protect your own power
base will collapse in your absence.
Relationships with co-workers are quite different from those with
family and friends. Since you spend most of your waking hours with
these people, they may seem like extended family. But.often the
workplace is a highly politicized, Machiavellian environment. Until
now, you may have chosen to keep your personal life to yourself. You
never wanted to show your vulnerability when the guy in the cubicle
next to yours or a fellow member of the management team could be after
your position. Now things have changed. You will need to build on all
the alliances you have established.
Make sure that the people closest to you hear the news directly from
you -- or, if that isn't possible, from someone who can speak on your
behalf. With bad news, especially, people need to hear it from the
right source. As for who should know first, it's customary to start at
the top, with your boss. This is just smart office politics. You
wouldn't want the person who holds the purse strings to find out
secondhand.
Once you've talked with your boss, you can tell your most trusted
colleagues, then move on from there. The following pointers should help
the process go smoothly.
· As you share the news with your colleagues, ask
that they keep it to themselves until you've had a chance to speak with
everyone directly.
· If you deal with clients and customers outside the
office, decide ahead of time just how much you want them to know.
· Try to tell people over as short a period of
time as possible. The rumor mill grinds very quickly, as you probably
know.
· Make arrangements to meet your colleagues
outside the office -- perhaps after work at a local cafe. Don't expect
them to drop what they're doing, listen to what you have to say, and
then pick up where they left off.
· If you can't meet after work, plan your
conversations for as close to the end of the day as possible. Your news
will be emotionally exhausting. That way your colleagues -- and you --
can go home and recover.
Reprinted from: When It's Cancer: The 10 Essential Steps to Follow After Your Diagnosis by Toni Bernay, PhD, and Saar Porrath, MD © 2006 Toni Bernay, PhD. Permission granted by Rodale, Inc., Emmaus, PA 18098. Available wherever books are sold or directly from the publisher by calling (800) 848-4735 or visit their website at www.rodalestore.com.